I apologize for the neglect. I knew when starting this blog there would come a point when I was less motivated to write. I am not sure if I have officially come to that point. But it has been something that has been put on the back burner. When I first moved here this was an outlet to share what I was going through and the raw thoughts and feelings that came with moving across the country by myself.
Now I find myself in a place where I am not sure to write about. I know that I have started to bloom in this new town. I often find myself overbooked and slowly coming to terms that I am a workaholic. But not in a bad way, I think I just realize that I have a lot of freedom in being single. So I guess I will just give you some updates and see how it goes.
I recently decided to start counseling. It was something that I had thought about doing for months and joked about it. But I just got to this point where I knew that I needed help digging deeper into my behaviors, beliefs, and thought process. I knew I needed to develop tools that I would be able to use. It has been deeply beneficial and I am so happy that I decided to do that. I think often mental health and wellbeing are not talked about especially in the church. But it’s okay to recognize faults in yourself and not know how to work through those.
I am officially a preceptor at work. Which honestly still kind of blows my mind. Time is this weird thing where you wonder why it goes so fast but at the same so slow. It’s not that I feel like I have been a nurse for a long time. But seeing my preceptee and how she reacts to how I react to different situations reminds me just how far I have come. I like seeing the progression of confidence and helping them step into their dream. It sounds silly but people work hard through nursing school and it is nice to help them feel welcomed, encouraged, and wanted.
I am still single. Which I am fully taking advantage of. I am part of committees at work, several small groups, and mentoring people. I sometimes think that I need to step back from something, but I love all of it. But don’t worry the ladies at work are starting to play matchmaker.
Indy and Arlo are thriving. They still don’t like when I work three in a row, but I blame that on the fact I basically spent every moment of my time at home with them when they were babies. The weather is starting to get nicer and they love patio time. I am still a little nervous that they would jump off after something, so they still get the tent unless I am out there.
My parents are coming!!! It is crazy to think that I haven’t seen them since July. When I think about them coming I can’t help but almost cry because I am so excited. They were supposed to come in October, but I got COVID and as a family decided to cancel their trip. When they canceled the trip the Lord told me it takes nine months to birth something new. Of course, I automatically thought that I would be in a relationship by the time that they got here. (I was just really hopeful). But just last week I was driving to my friend’s house in Twin Lakes and I was on the phone with my mom. Our once almost daily conversations had turned into like two times a week because I was just busy. It took nine months for this new life to be birth. It was incredibly painful at times and lots of tears have been cried. Lots of self-discoveries made, and I wouldn’t have asked for anything different. Not even a significant other (sorry mom and dad). Sitting here writing this made me realize that it wouldn’t have been the same if I found a significant other. The time spent alone was needed to uncover the mess, find my worth in the Lord, discover unknown confidence. It was needed to discover who I was without input from others.