Normally, I am way more on top of blogging. But this is one I have had to simmer on. Simply because I could write pages. But I won’t, because I know that I am not supposed to. A couple weeks ago, I had one of my very best friends come and visit me in Idaho. God had given me vision of what the week was going to entail, but I still couldn’t have prepared for the healing that took place. Both in relationships horizontally and vertically.
Walking though encounters with Jesus, and talking through our friendship over the past few years. As with most friendships there have been seasons that are harder than others, but always covered in grace. Nicole is one of the first people I ever felt fully accepted by. She was someone I felt safe to tell my deepest secrets and never be judged. Which was not something I was used to. Although she would not always understand my encounters with Jesus she still loved me.
After worshiping in my living room, truly encountering Jesus and the Holy Spirt in the physical, it started to click. Something that I have only really been discovering in the last few months. Is truly how desperately the Lord wants to encounter every single one of his children. That he would fly them across the country, simply to encounter them.
For me it has always been difficult to accept love, although I am totally starting to work on that. I have always felt this need to “accept” the love of Jesus. Although I am aware that it requires action on my end, how do you begin to accept a love that you can never comprehend. How do you accept a love that runs that deep.
I am going through my old journals and reading the things that the Lord has spoken over me. As I was reading it wrote “Accept the adoption, the birthright is yours.” I have been thinking about this idea that princes and princess don’t understand the lack, that as babies we don’t “accept” the love of our parents it is fact. But as reading that portion of my journal, it dawned on me. I understand that for a large portion of my life I lived in the darkness. I understand what it means to be separated from God. I understand that there is this need for me to submit to the love of my King. A love that I will never fully understand. That although Jesus came as fact, and his love as fact, my brain still struggles to comprehend.
It was an honor to walk someone I love through encounters with Jesus. Something I will cherish forever. I love that I have a God who persues and desires for us to live in freedom. That will comb though our experiences and mold them into safe passages that drip with his glory.
It also made me incredible grateful for the community that I have. A group of people so on fire for the Lord. Holy Spirt filled lovers of Christ. A place I never thought I would be, running with horses.