I have been noticing lately I suck at being still. Being “still” is not something I am good at. I don’t do well with not having the next step. Tonight was a conference at my home church, and they had prophets come. They spoke and prophesied over some people in the congregation. I found myself wanting to hear a word about my life and what the next step is like. It was super hard when I didn’t get a specific word. The thing was in all the other words people God I felt like God was speaking to me. That I am seen. That I am loved. I am created exactly as I am, for a purpose, and to walk in that.
As I was driving home I struggled with this idea that although I hear from the Lord, I have no clue what is coming next. I think about my life up to this point in my life. There are very few times I can say I didn’t have something I am actively working towards. I am no longer in school. I know that for at least the next year I will be on working my job. I am finding it hard to be content with what I have.
It is so interesting. While I was in school I couldn’t help but wait for the day that I was going to be a chemist and then a nurse. But now that I am a nurse, I find it hard to be content and not seeking what is next. I would love to meet who I will marry. I would love to know what my life will look like in five years. For the first time, in a long time I have everything I want, and yet there is still this longing for more. I know that I will only ever find true satisfaction in Christ. But head knowledge isn’t always heart knowledge.
Most people would love to be in a summer season, but I can’t help but want to be in spring. Always learning and growing, moving forward to the next season. But something God has told me is that every day is a day you are moving into the next season. Although it may feel like what we are going through is never-ending. Each day is one day closer to redemption, freedom, and deeper love.
I don’t know what this year will hold. I know my mom really wants me to find a husband. To be honest I am not opposed to that. But if God wants me to sit in a season of stillness and just being. I submit to that. Even in the stillness, I am able to learn and grow. I am grateful for the comfort the Father provides. The lessons he freely gives. I love that I am loved for who I was created to be.
2 thoughts on “Be Still”
I love how you are seeing the seasons of life. Seasons help me to embrace the cycles of life. I do look forward to the summer season and as I have gotten older, And have been able to embrace it more fully. My Life experiences of autumn, that are filled with anticipating endings or the long cold winters that allow me to embrace those losses have helped to embrace the calm. Heavenly Father designed seasons in our life for our own personal growth. I am truly appreciative of him and his support and guidance during all of them
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Please be patient. I do understand what you are going thru. I took more the a dozen your to find your precious mother. The sweetheart of my dreams. Try not to hurry thru life. Just take one day at a time a trust in the Lord. Your are doing very very well and have a strong set of values. Don’t worry someone will see that in you. Hang in there.
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