But is it your best?

Today I rode the struggle bus at work. I have worked 5 shifts in 6 days. It has definitely taken its tole. It is hard to consistently work back to back. I am tired but overall I felt alright going into work today. I knew I’d get through it.

But I had a where I was in their room almost every hour. No matter what I did it wasn’t to their satisfaction. This is something I know a lot of health care workers deal with this. Where you bend over backwards to help a patient out. But somedays your shift is filled with rude thankless people.

Something my mom told me was when you get upset or angry at a patients behavior, it is triggering something in you. This obviously really hit me. Most of the time I can justify behavior and make it not about me. Today I couldn’t. I felt like no matter what I did it just wasn’t good enough. For me that is why I cried on the way home. I have always struggled with perfection and this idea of being good enough. In my relationships and life in general. Today it was thrown in my face that I wasn’t doing a good enough job or I wasn’t doing it right. Even though I tried my best, my best fell short. But did it? The patient received their medications on time. I was able to delegate for help when I needed help. All my patients were safe and remained stable throughout my shift. My patients behavior towards me can’t dictate how I feel about my job performance. I rocked it. I provided amazing care, I advocated when I needed to. My patients were safe and cared for.

Today is just another reminder it isn’t about me. Which some days is a really hard pill to swallow. I don’t want people to be in pain or sick. But sometimes all you can do is your best, regardless of how it received.

8 thoughts on “But is it your best?

  1. What you’re talking about is a tough thing to adjust to – You’re staying open and vulnerable when you’re giving your care – the patients, some – they latch onto this and, in my opinion, it opens a valve. Those in this category keep asking for more until an emotional need has been placated.

    With pre op patients, it’s the one who want’s an extra blanket, and a few minutes later, wants the stretcher head of bed lowered, and a few minutes after than wants something for their dry mouth.

    SIx days in a row and, on day six getting a run of patients who keep asking for stuff and seem dissatisfied no matter what,,,yikes ! Thinking about you and sending a hug!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. First of all, what you’re doing is very selfless. I would like to thank you for your sacrifice. I know its tough to put your all into something and not only not get the respect you should, but get disrespected. I have a very grumpy boss who doesn’t seem to appreciate when I put my all into my job. He can be disrespectful sometimes. It’s hard to take and I’ve been struggling to stay positive. I try to look at it as a lesson, a way to grow. If I can stay positive through this, then I’m growing. I salute you and hope you can stay strong, we need people like you. Thank you for your work. God bless and protect you.

      Liked by 1 person

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