Yesterday I attended a prayer meeting, durning that meeting one of the women prayed that addictions would be broken. She included social media in there. I felt really convicted. It took me about two minutes to take my phone out and delete Facebook. It took me several hours to delete instagram. I went on with my day. It looked a little different but I went and got lunch with a friend and went to the Saturday night service.
It wasn’t until this morning that it felt different. Normally when I wake up, I check all the social media. I scroll through Facebook to see the latest updates. I watch the Instagram stories. I hate to admit it but sometimes I am on my phone for the first hour that I am awake. This morning I didn’t have that. It hit me right in the face how much time I was spending. I laid in bed for a half hour and pet my cats. Opened the curtains and say how sunny it was and went for a walk.
Recently I have just been feeling disconnected from myself. Not in a bad way. But almost like this overall lack of energy. I contributed it to working nights. I am sure that is part of it. But when I saw a reminder for the prayer meeting, my first thought wasn’t I want to go and set an alarm. It was I am sure I will be tired, if I am up I will go. That is not me. I told the Lord that if he wanted me to go then he needed to make sure I was up. Well I woke at 6 am wide awake. That prayer meeting I met some girls who were incredibly nice. When I went to the Saturday night service, one of the girl I met ended up sitting near me. She didn’t normally come to Saturday night service. To me that isn’t a conincidene.
The thing about being disconnected or having a lack of energy is because I was spending hours a day on my phone scrolling through social media. I had felt how consuming social media was and put a time limit on my phone after my trip to the Yurt. I think it was for like an hour or an hour and a half. If I worked I never hit it. But when I wouldn’t work. I would hit it more often than not. I wasn’t consistent with the boundary I set for myself. I am all about healthy boundaries in your life. But sometimes when you set a boundary it isn’t enough. If I knew I could shut it off, I wouldn’t have to go cold turkey. But the soft reminder that I needed to step away wasn’t enough. Its okay to admit you need stricter boundaries. Its okay to enforce stricter boundaries even if people around you don’t fully understand.
I decided I am going to take the rest of the year off social media. I will reevaluate at that point. But there are some projects that I really want to dive into. I want to spend more time with the Lord. I need to reconnect to myself.
Don’t worry I will still be blogging.