So I had a day off and I decided to go to the beach. It was going to be really hot. I arrived and layed out my towel. Due to one previous swim in the lake I knew it was going to be cold. Last time I couldn’t walk in, it was more of a jump. As I started to enter the water the sand immediately turned to stone. I knew the water was going to be cold, but I was not ready for how cold it was going to be. I took steps away to the shore, but the water was cold. Not just cold but cold enough to make my legs feel numb. The problem was the rock were hurting my feet. I think I made it to my upper thighs before turning back to my towel on the beach. It was starting to get really hot and I told myself I just needed to commit. I knew I could do it. I knew once I was fully submerged I would have fun swimming around, but better yet I wouldn’t have to put all my weight on the rocks as I walked.
I decided I wasn’t going home until I went under completely. I hyped myself up and went to the water. I slowly started making my way in. It was still just as cold but I decided to just commit. I wish it was easier then just telling myself that I was committed and doing it. As I was crawling deeper, I noticed all the kids around me. They were playing in the water with no care of the rocky bottom and the ice cold water. They were all having so much fun. As I watched them it reminded me of when I was a kid. I was always the first one in and the last one out. It didn’t matter how cold it was. I would have swim practice at the town pool in the early morning and that water was cold! At what point did I become apprehensive of the colder water. It never used to bother me like it does now. It Is because I knew the water would be cold and I was mentally psyching myself out.
The more I thought about this the more I saw the bigger picture. How often do our commitment issues come from previous experiences. Children aren’t inherently distrustful or have commitment issue. The issues we deal with as adults often stem from those childhood traumas or negative experiences. It’s those friends that never called when they said they would. It’s those heartbreaks. It’s those times you heard people talking about you. There are so many experience that make us scared of commitment.
Has that fear of commitment wiggled its way into your relationship with God? The way people treated you somehow give you a jaded view of who God is? Maybe thats why God wants us to have a child like faith. He sees the other side. He see childrens ability to blindly trust and love. He sees the freedom that comes from a genuine relationship with him. It’s like the children that have no fear and enter that icy cold and rocky water. They know the fun that will be had on the other side. We need to stop letting our worldly relationships translate into our relationship with God. People are people, they will let you down more often then not. God won’t. He mets you were you are. He heals those wounds.
P. S: Don’t worry I eventually went all the way under and really enjoyed myself. Every time I went back in it was easier then the last.