Well well well … this is not one I really wanted to write but here we are. Topics typically come to me and I just know that is what I need to write about. This came to mind a few days ago but I have really just ignored the prompting. But as I am sure you know God decided to give me a gentle nudge of encouragement.
As I have started my job I am learning just how much validation I desire. If someone isn’t telling me I am doing a good job, then how could I possibly be doing a good job. When the floor gets really busy and my preceptor is being pulled in a million different directions I rarely feel helpful. Even if I am being told I am helpful, sometimes there is this part of me that feels like it isn’t enough. I could and should be doing more. Nursing school prepared me right.
Wrong.
Sure nursing school taught me how to place and IV or change a dressing. But it didn’t teach me how to manage patients ever ending list of needs. It didn’t teach me how to do an admission assessment, or how to manage a full case load. It didn’t teach me how to handle a crying patient or better yet a dying patinet. I could keep going. But the thing is in that room the patient expects me to have the answer. The days of defeering the answer because I am a student is over. I am learning everyday on how to talk to paitents and how I can meet thier needs. It can be exhausting.
When you aren’t fully trained for a task how do you know you are doing a good job? For me it someone telling me I did a good job. Even that sometimes is hard. I feel I should be better prepared. At work sometimes I feel like I should be able to anticipate the need. Thats the thing though. In life there are so many things we aren’t trained to handle. Rarely we are taught how to file taxes, how to balance a check book, how to properly care for a house and your own needs. So how do we know we are doing a good job. If we constantly rely on the world validating us we will never feel whole or complete. In the worlds eyes we can always be better, fit more stuff into our schedules, our lists could always be longer. But in Gods eyes he created us to be enough. Whole in him. My validation can only come from him, because only in him is my true worth found and valued.
Crossing the Jordan 
Ashley- I am always do impressed on how you just get it and are willing to learning and go much beyond the ‘duties’. Don’t worry. You will get there quicker than you think because you are compassionate and caring. That’s what patients need the most from a nurse.
Love you. Miss you. Keep up the great work!
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CS lewis is a wonderful writer and many times captured the difficulty and struggles of being human. In chronicles of Narnia he quotes, ‘Aslan: You doubt your value. Don’t run from who you are.’ We are all children of a loving Heavenly Father. As you stated, why do we look for validation from others, and measure our worth, through an imperfect lense?’ CS Lewis also said, “The value of the individual does not lie in him. He receives it by union with Christ.” Why is it so difficult to embrace heavenly fathers view of us?”
Most of us struggle for most of our lives with this. To be aware and embracing this struggle so early in your adulthood just shows that Heavenly Father has big plans for you!!!
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Your father is so right. Years ago, there was a major research study on patient satisfaction differences between the nurse that took one attempt versus two attempts to start an IV. A survey followed. One of the outcomes was this : ( Per patient surveys)
Number of IV attempts had no factor on patient satisfaction. The nurse taking her time, taking to the patient, explaining what she was doing, demonstrating compassion…they were the factors that impacted patient satisfaction.
Hint for the patients that need someone to talk to for a few minutes. Tell them you’ll come back at the end of your shift and sit for a few.
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